Porn is a shame-filled topic.

This makes it difficult to address in the church. It’s not something Christians enjoy talking about. It’s uncomfortable. Many well-meaning pastors have preached against porn, rebuked those who are indulging in it, and called them to repent. Those in the audience who have repeatedly tried to quit leave those messages with shame and hopelessness. 

How to Quit Porn: Solutions for the Church

When a pastor doesn’t understand the dynamics involved in a porn addiction, they can inadvertently cause people to stay in the shadows. People must be called to repentance, but zeal without knowledge has negative results. 

Even if a church offers a group to help those struggling with porn use, it can be daunting for a person to attend. Many pastors wrongly conclude that porn must not be a problem since so few people get help when it’s offered. Experts estimate less than ten percent of Christians who are addicted to porn seek real help. 

The Struggle of Overcoming Porn Addiction in the Church

One of the reasons this number is so low is that pastor’s themselves are struggling with pornography, making it difficult for churches to address this issue effectively, turning it into a catch-22.

We want to help leaders to come out of the shadows, confess, and lead the church in repentance. The majority of pastors who struggle with porn are not seeking help because of fear. 

They fear what others will think. 

They fear losing their job. 

The shame a Christian feels for their porn use is greatly multiplied for the pastor or ministry leader. 

One former pastor said, “I was supposed to be the example and spiritual leader and I was watching porn? I couldn’t bear to risk the embarrassment of confessing.” 

If shame isn’t enough to keep the pastor paralyzed from getting help, the fear of losing their job will. The church and pastors have a porn problem.

Establishing a Restorative Culture:

The apostle Peter denied Jesus three times, only hours after he promised to die for Him. 

But after He rose from the dead, Jesus went to the place Peter was fishing and called to him from the shore. When Peter saw Jesus, he jumped in the water and started swimming toward Him. The other disciples rowed to shore. Not Peter. He dove in and swam. He risked looking foolish as he swam in his tunic to get to the shore. He was vulnerable. He wanted to be reunited with Jesus.

Peter’s vulnerability was an expression of love and remorse. He wanted to get to the source of his healing and restoration as fast as he could. He wasn’t worried about his image. That’s vulnerability. As a result, Jesus restored Peter (John 21:15-17). After Jesus removed Peter’s shame, Jesus made him a pillar in the church. Peter’s vulnerability led to his restoration and service to the King.

Failure did not disqualify Peter. In fact, Peter was more usable because he was humble rather than self-sufficient. And Peter’s response teaches us a lesson: Even people who have committed the worst sins are still able to be used by God when they act in vulnerability. A solution to pornography is for the church and its leaders to establish a restorative culture.

Deshaming the Topic:

Since pursuing freedom leads to deeper discipleship, churches need to provide a path to get there. The churches I follow with the most effective programs have de-shamed the topic of pornography addiction. Often, staff members participate in the program. Many times, they model authenticity and share their own porn story.

Pastors can de-shame the topic of pornography addiction by introducing it as an equipping issue instead of a recovery issue. An equipping issue is for everyone in the church, not just those who are struggling with a particular issue. A recovery issue is only for people with problems. Starting with an equipping focus de-shames the topic and gives people permission to get educated without having to first indict themselves. When people learn about the brain science of porn addiction it is very de-shaming. When the issue is de-shamed, people are more willing to come out of the shadows to get help.

Porn is an Equipping Issue:

When addressing porn is presented with an equipping focus, both the struggler and the non-struggler will show up. We can attest to churches that have done extended studies, and while they are educating people, these groups de-shame the topic. At the end of the equipping studies, these same churches then offer recovery groups. The equipping groups provide an intermediary step from the Sunday morning congregation to a recovery group. Once a porn struggle is de-shamed and a pathway to freedom is given, many more people are willing to get help.

We know it can feel overwhelming when attempting to address a serious and complicated problem like porn addiction. That’s why we’ve designed several different resources like the 30 Day Challenge to help equip churches and church leaders on this issue. There is a solution for problem of porn in the church and a path to freedom from addiction.

FAQ’s:

Why is vulnerability important in the journey to quit porn?

How can sharing personal experiences help reduce porn usage?

How do small groups assist individuals in their journey to quit porn?

Why is it crucial for pastors to address the problem of porn in the church?

How can an individual develop a greater understanding of unconditional love while overcoming addiction?