According to studies, 64 percent of Christian men admit to grappling with porn addiction. With only seven percent of churches offering solutions for their congregation to break free from porn, we want to help churches do more. With the deep impact porn has on relationships and spiritual growth and the staggering number of people who struggle with it, the church has an amazing opportunity to offer biblically-based, gospel-centered and scientifically-informed solutions that result in restoration, discipleship, and healing.
Porn addiction is a difficult topic to navigate. With few outward “symptoms,” it’s easy to hide, and with so many shame-inducing consequences, it’s tempting to stay hidden. It’s not surprising that churches have a hard time addressing the rampant issue of porn, and here are a few reasons why:
Reason #1: 50% of Pastors Are Struggling With Porn Themselves
Multiple studies showed that half of pastors are addicted to porn. One pastor said, “I wanted to get help and open up, but I was afraid. I was so afraid of how it would make me look. Here I am, a pastor of this growing, new church, and I’m constantly watching porn?” Admitting shortcomings, confessing hypocrisy, risking embarrassment and shame— all of these obstacles stand in the way of any church members or pastors addicted to porn. And if we can’t be honest about our own struggle with porn, how can we lead others down this path?
Reason #2: Many Churches Have a Punishment Culture in Place
For many pastors with a porn addiction, coming clean means losing their job. Most churches have a punitive culture in place—if a pastor struggles with porn, they’ll be asked to resign or be publicly shamed. With the threat of losing a job on the table, many pastors feel forced to live a double life, to compartmentalize their porn use and their ministry. There’s no freedom to repent. So pastors stay in the shadows; they privately confess to God; they tell themselves they have to work on this thing alone. But no one gets free by themselves. And so the cycle continues.
Reason #3: Many Pastors Don’t Realize the Severity of the Porn Problem
While some pastors struggle with porn themselves, others don’t recognize it as a significant problem among their people. The damage porn causes is beneath the surface, and because so few people talk about it, it’s tempting to ignore the problem altogether. Maybe they’ve tried to launch a recovery group, and no one has shown up. Maybe they’ve asked questions, and no one has admitted a problem. Or maybe their congregation has many more needs that demand their attention and resources.
Reason #4: Recovery From Porn Addiction is Hard Work
Most pastors feel ill-equipped to walk with people on the road to recovery. As a Christian community, we don’t openly talk about porn addiction. There is a lot of secrecy and hiding. Most Christian leaders don’t know what tools and resources are available to help people find freedom. Recovery is also a long road, and it involves a lot more than a quick confession or a once-a-week Bible study. Finding and providing helpful resources can be difficult and time-consuming.
Reason #5: Pornography and Shame
Pornography is uncomfortable to talk about, especially in a church setting. The recovery process can be over-simplified as confession and repentance. Most church members and pastors addicted to porn need more than that. When the problem is reduced to “repent and confess your sins,” those who need more help along the way feel embarrassed and hopeless. When churches offer recovery groups and no one shows up, this isn’t because no one is struggling with porn. It’s because people are afraid to admit they need help and they’re afraid they’ll be the only ones that join the group! Dr. Ted Roberts, a counselor with over 30 years of experience helping Christians break free from sexual sin, says that fewer than 10 percent of Christian men struggling with a porn or sex addiction seek out meaningful help. This has everything to do with shame.
How Churches Can Treat Porn Addiction
Establishing a Restorative Culture
For pastors addicted to porn to feel free to repent, we encourage churches to adopt what we call a restorative policy—as long as you haven’t done anything illegal or with another person and as long as you are committed to recovery, you can get help for your porn struggle without the fear of punishment. The goal of church discipline is restoration. This is in line with the spirit of Galatians 6:1, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”
Opening a Path to Porn Addiction Recovery
While each case is different and a specific position can’t always be maintained, each leadership team must determine a restoration plan that invites staff to confess and get help. Remember, half of our pastors are addicted to porn. Rather than continuing to shame and perpetuate the issue, a restorative culture allows people to get help. It empowers leaders to live up to biblical standards of leadership and acknowledges that we are all on a journey towards healing and redemption. If leaders don’t repent of the sin of pornography, how can we expect the members to confess?
Equipping Our People to Help Others Find Freedom
Recovery is only for people with problems — equipping is for everyone. When a church leader says, “This is such a pervasive issue, we need more people equipped to help others find freedom,” it encourages everyone to attend the training. The training itself further de-shames the topic as people learn about the addictive and destructive nature of porn, as well as the roots that drive an addiction. It gives people hope that freedom is possible. Our Freedom Fight 30 Day Challenge is free and simple content that your church can offer in a five-week equipping class.
Porn’s Far-Reaching Effects
The reality is that staying in the shadows costs you and your church more than you think. It’s keeping your people from engaging and serving whole-heartedly. Porn is causing breakdowns in marriages and parenting relationships. Porn is wreaking havoc on spiritual health and connection with God. Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Pastors addicted to porn can’t run their race to freedom. And they can’t lead their people into freedom, either.
Finding Spiritual Freedom From Porn
Pastors addicted to porn get to pave the way for their congregations. Honesty will allow others to repent as well. It will start to break down the shame and darkness that surrounds the topic of pornography. It will help liberate the church from the power of porn. After one pastor with a porn addiction found freedom himself he shared, “I confessed my struggle with pornography to the church. I asked their forgiveness for failing them as a leader. More importantly, I asked for their help in starting a ministry for men and women who struggled in a similar way.” Now, this church has a thriving porn addiction recovery program and people are finding freedom.
Leading in God’s Truth
1 Timothy 1:5 says, “The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” When we struggle with porn, the enemy robs us of our ability to live out what God has called us to—a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. God uses the process of freeing us from porn to heal us and to make us more like Him. Leaders in the church pave the way for people to find transformation and wholeness. This process begins with you.
