Michael grew up in an abusive home. Even though this was beyond his control, he often blamed himself. Feelings of shame and self-condemnation became core parts of his life, leading him to medicate the pain with porn.
His struggle with porn continued until the day he discovered true life in Jesus Christ. Yet, the pain persisted, and so did his conviction to quit. This led Michael to join a Freedom Fight group for help.
For him, the turning point came when God revealed the need to extend mercy by forgiving his abusers. It was in that moment of forgiveness that he experienced a new level of freedom.
Mercy unlocked his healing.
Michael had accepted God’s forgiveness and mercy, but for a while, he missed out on the blessing and freedom of extending that mercy to others. Bitterness, resentment, withdrawal, and aggression—hidden weights—were holding him down until mercy, a vital part of the healing process, intervened.
If you’re trying to quit porn, have you considered how mercy can impact your journey?
Let’s dive deeper into the Beatitudes and explore God’s wisdom on how mercy can influence recovery from sexual trauma and a porn addiction.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
As we’ve discussed in this series, God offers us the chance to redeem relationships and experience life to the fullest, as Jesus describes in John 10:10. This includes the blessing of healthy relationships, where forgiveness and restoration play a crucial role. Remember, healthy relationships are key to our freedom, and they don’t happen without mercy.
To be merciful means showing compassion or forgiveness to someone you have the power to harm or punish.
Unfortunately, those closest to you can hurt you the most deeply. Mercy guides you to restore any brokenness in your life. It helps you let go of resentment, bitterness, and anger. Reconciliation encourages love, kindness and ultimately, freedom.
Part of finding freedom is learning to forgive those who have hurt you—a crucial step in setting boundaries and reclaiming control over your life.
Healthy relationships are part of the blessing that helps us walk in freedom.
Michael’s unhealthy relationships fueled his porn use. Whether it was worthlessness, bitterness, or anger that surfaced, he had trained himself to medicate with porn for years. Until he extended mercy, the trauma from years ago continued to abuse him, keeping him trapped. (Hebrews 12:1).
The Urgency of Reconciliation
How important is reconciliation to Jesus? Consider what He says in Matthew 5:23-24:
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Jesus prioritizes reconciliation, even over spiritual acts for God. This shows how seriously God views unhealthy relationships and His desire for us to reconcile quickly!
Later in the same sermon, Jesus underscores again the extreme importance of extending forgiveness and mercy.
“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
God wants us to extend the mercy we have received from Him to others. And not to do so is a barrier to our relationship with God.
If we want to experience God’s best for our life, mercy is not optional.
Embrace & Become The Kingdom Values
Throughout the Beatitudes, Jesus describes the character of the kingdom’s citizens. You might think, “He’s asking a lot of me!” And you’re right. But you can’t do this alone.
This type of transformation requires something supernatural. We must die to ourselves daily and let Jesus Christ live through us by the power of His Spirit.
- The poor in spirit humbly confess their sin and move into full confession and repentance.
- Those who mourn deeply grieve their sin and strive to put it to death.
- The meek embrace the power of gentleness and receive the reward of inheriting the earth.
- Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness seek God’s standard and reject the world’s.
These qualities build on one another, moving us toward mercy.
How Receiving and Extending Mercy Heals Sexual Trauma
Each Beatitude comes with a promise, and here we see that the merciful will be shown mercy. Sometimes, the hardest person to show mercy to is yourself.
But look at what Paul wrote in Romans 8:1:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
What a powerful truth! God has extended mercy to us through His Son, and we benefit from that exchange.
Are you in Christ? If so, according to Romans 8:1, there is now no condemnation.
Understanding this truth helps you accept God’s mercy, enabling you to extend it to others. Learning to be merciful is a key characteristic that will guide you on your path to freedom.
Michael was sinned against, yet he forgave. Unforgiveness and bitterness kept Michael tethered to negative emotions and shame that he felt compelled to medicate with porn. Forgiving those who hurt him was a crucial part of his healing process.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)
Even though we don’t deserve it, God forgives us. In the same way, we are to forgive others who don’t deserve it.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing people who hurt you.
Forgiving also doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries to protect yourself —sometimes they are necessary.
But finding forgiveness in your heart can set you free.
Looking for more resources to get free from porn?
- A great first step is to take The 30-Day Challenge and start your journey to freedom today!
- Read through the rest of the Beatitude blogs (poor in spirit, mourn, meek, hunger and thirst). They are explorations into the type of character traits that help us find lasting freedom from Christ.
